SERIOUSLY SHITTY CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES
Ingredients
2-1/4 c. All-purpose unbleached flour
1/4 tsp. Baking soda
1/4 tsp. Baking powder
1/2 c. Butter (unsalted) at room temperature
1/2 c. Lard or vegetable shortening at room temperature
1/2 c. Granulated sugar
1 c. Dark brown sugar, tightly packed
1 tsp. Kosher salt
1 tsp. Instant coffee crystals
2 tsp. Real vanilla extract
2 Large eggs
2 cups Semisweet chocolate chips
Directions
• Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
• In a small bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda and powder; set aside.
• In the bowl of an electric mixer, combine the butter with both the brown and white sugar.
• Beat on medium speed until fluffy.
• Reduce speed to low; add the salt, vanilla, coffee, and eggs.
• Beat until well mixed, maybe a minute or so.
• Add the flour mixture; mix until just combined. Don’t over mix or the batter will become tough!
• By hand, stir in the chocolate chips.
• Drop generous balls of dough (maybe a heaping tablespoon) 2 inches apart on a parchment-lined baking sheet.
• Bake until cookies are golden around the edges, 8 to 10 minutes. The centers should remain soft/tender.
• Remove from oven, and let cool on the baking sheet a few minutes.
• Transfer to a wire cooling rack to cool completely.
My friend Stephen proclaimed, upon finishing a half-dozen of these babies in about two minutes, “Oh, Peter: these are shitty cookies. So seriously shitty, I’m going to have six more!” Hence, their appellation.
Because everything in life is better with bacon and/or chocolate, I added a cup of crumbled, cooked bacon to this recipe. Decadent. Such cookies can chase away the bluest of moods.
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